tool in looking for a potential mate. However, it is how it is used that could prove dangerous. Let’s examine two scenarios:

1. A sister puts a profile on an Islamic marriage site (some of them are actually dating sites). She lists her personal email address or phone number, or may opt to receive emails via the site’s internal mail system. Before you know it she is receiving emails and instant messages from potential suitors wanting to know more about her, initiate an online chat, or set up a time to talk personally. After deciding that they like each other, they decide to set up a face to face meeting.

    

   • STOP! This is where it becomes haraam. For some reason there is a common misconception that it is permissible to engage in these types of communications with a male, but it is not. A number of scholars have touched on the impermissibility of this. Know for a surety that when there are two parties together male and female, that Shaytan is the third. And for those who think they are strong, or would never be sweet talked into doing anything haraam, ask the Imam in your community about the numerous cases of people who now “have” to get married because they met online, began a conversation, and it ended in producing a child from zinaa (fornication).  Even if things do not go this far, it is not permissible to engage in a conversation without the presence of a Wali. One of the benefits to this is that men know men. They can more accurately discern a mans character and catch any contradictions that present themselves. Again, we are emotional creatures and prone to believing things that may not be altogether true. Additionally, it protects the woman’s virtue. Even if you never engage in any illicit behavior, the fact that you have engaged in one on one conversations or meetings can place a cloud over your reputation.

    

2. The same sister places a profile online, but in the contact section, gives her Wali’s phone number and email address. He is able to screen any responses and present her with the options that pass his critique. The sister may even peruse the online profiles and have her Wali initiate contact with those individuals she finds interesting. When she and her Wali narrow the search to serious candidates, they set up phone conversations or face to face meetings in which the Wali is always present. The suitor is never given the sisters contact information, and if he has more questions or wants to pursue things, he will have to contact the Wali. Now doesn’t scenario 2 sound much better? It is far superior for a number of reasons:

    

   • There is no room for Shaytan to bring shame upon the couple by leading them to commit zinaa. This places an extra level of blessing on the potential relationship.